Strange Things Are Happening

I want to know what Aussie Oil Cane smothered himself with this morning because choosing to hire Colleen Carlton to be the BIG HEAD I mean FRESH FACE of Jabot was straight greasy.

WOW. When you marry a Newman, you also marry Nikki. This old hag just blamed Phyllis for convincing Nick to commit his crazy ass father Victor into the looney bin which resulted in Victor's miraculous Copperfield Act. This is exactly what Phyllis gets for suggesting Nikki help Restless Style 'Out Of The Ashes' pun intended.

But Nick is crushed. Poor thing wouldn't even look at some model poontang for a hot second. Just Ho-Humming around the office like Eeyore. Even wore a god damned purple shirt today too. Maybe some Photoshoot four-play and Phyllis poontang might help.

Speaking of family foolishness, Jill thinks she's calling the shots, all Cain wants to do is be an inexperienced CEO, and Billy is about to become a Mole for Jack. That's some fucked up family shit.

Listen to me. I cant stand Lily, but I feel kinda bad for the bitch. She just has to stop twitching that head of hers when she rants her ass off. I cant stand it - shudder. I'm glad she's had an Oprah moment and come to the realization that she has to stop being a god damned doormat and just do her. There are plenty of hood rats in the world who are involved with men who have children with other women - even if the child might not be theirs. Suck it up Lily! Maybe this epiphany will cause her to stop ranting and twitching and ranting and twitching.

Maybe not, she just told Colleen its, "Fresh Face or our friendship"! And then walked off with her head shaking....ugh.

Can someone please tap Devon on his shoulder and yell in his good ear that HIS ASS CANT SING? Now he's trying to get his girlfriend Ashley Banks into the mix writing songs for them to sing together like they're the Chante Savage and Kenny Lattimore of Genoa City.

EXTRA!! EXTRA!! Genoa City Overpopulated with Head Cases

Billy aka Liam (has Amber stopped calling him that?) needs to be watched. He is about to make his mother pay for "spoiling" Cane. Dat boy is bitter. Can you really blame him? I mean poor Billy got the shit end of the stick because he didn't get to play the nepotism card like his Big Brother, Cane. Oh no, Billy had it hard. His official start at Jabot was as an Envelope Licker/Mailroom Groupie. They didn't want to spoil him, of course.

Katherine, oh lord Katherine. How much health problems yuh go have, lady? Go see a doctor! Poor lady had another senior moment. She asked some madness today. Asking Esther if Kate (Chloe) has come home from school. Can we anticipate another PSA on Dementia?

Its been awhile since we've seen the Lily, Cane and Chloe triangle and I can honestly say, I didn't really miss it. The story is moving so slow. However, Chloe and her mother, bitch to Katherine Chancellor, Esther, had a Massengill moment. They shared. Chloe confessed that she isn't in love with Cane and she isn't going to force herself to be in love with him. Well look who's a few months prego and gaining sense after all. I can't say the same for her mother. Check this out. So Esther decides to join in and you know, let her daughter know she completely understands where she's coming from. I'm telling you, real sweet moment. Then stoopid Esther mentions some foolishness about de boy sharing his PBNJ. (HUH???) This story that Esther shared was when she was 10 years old and de boy was 11. Oh lawd, no wonder Jill has to rough her ass up.

I never really had any type of opinion of Lily but today, she deserves some HoodRat attention. Today, Lily resigns at Jabot. She feels as long has Cane and her see each other or have any type of interaction, there will always be problems with him and Cleo. Awww, Lilly. How sweet. How thoughtful. How generous. How freakin UNPROFESSIONAL. Isn't that first thing we learn in business, don't let your personal life interfere with work. She leaves right has Jabot is about to lauch a new line. Dru would hav never done that. Now because of her inconsideration, WE, the faithful watchers, had to watch Cane ask Colleen if she would like to be the new 'Fresh Head', I mean 'Fresh Face' of Jabot. Lily will regret that. See how Colleen takin' Daniel and now she takin Lily's modelling gig. Watch yuhself. She going fuh de Cane!

It Takes a Wise Man to Play the Fool

Steups (dats me kissing my teeth in displeasure). Dis damn Y&R took up my freakin hour with foolishness. I was so bored during this episode. So due to Y&R's lack of ability to keep entertained, I'm just going to speak about the "little" things that stood out for me. Trust me, I had to fight hard to find something to blog about.

Noah: Steups, I still can't grasp how dis little boy, went to sleep at little Timmy's house (I know that's not his friend's name, but I can't remember) and then came back and he's 16 years old. Anyway, so he's was upset with Sharon b/c he felt she was holding out on the condition of is Grandpa Victor. So he gets upset and says "Stop treating me like I'm 5 years old". Well boy, when you left for the sleepover, you were 5, now your 16. Foolishness.


River and his newly found family: I have no clue what happened today. A set of crying from Eden and something from Michael, then apologizes to River from Lauren because of something Michael did. Then at the end, Michael bursting in say he is his father's legal council. I'm so not into this story.

The Great Victoria and Nicholas (Dis I can talk about): How dare these ungrateful children think to commit their father to a psychiatric ward for his maddness or should I say, for his depression. For the record, I believe not a damn thing is wrong with Victor. Vikki didn't think he was madd when he got her job back. Or why de ass Nick didn't suggest to commit him when received the cheque to buy out Jack. Now de poor man grievin for his deceased wife and child (who Nick and Vikki out casted) and now they want to lock him in a padded room. Bout they love their daddy. Steups. But they should have known you can't hold down the "Great Victor Newman". He set dem up good. Not even the Boohoohoo'in of his first born girl child, made the man commit himself. You asked him to do it for you and he did. He told you exactly what you wanted to hear just for you to get off his back. Shit, don't they have a child to look after? That's why he had to shag your ass. All up in his business. This crazy ass Victoria, really thought crying would get her daddy to commit himself into a padded room? They deserved to get played.
Winner of the Bawd Man Award is Victor Newman!!

I Learned The Technical Term For Mono Today

Jacko and uber son Adam-Victor-Adam's tequila bonding session is killing me today.
Jack's hatred for Victor runs DEEP. He does have some pretty valid reasons for hating the guy.

I am actually relieved that Victor is in the hospital, at least now he can be hospitalized and treated for his untreated epilepsy and out of those god damned clothes [hopefully]. Even on his almost-death bed, he's still blaming Nikki for the death of Sabrina and his unborn child. I still think she deserves it.

I love how Y&R uses episodes as PSAs: Epstien Bar [aka Mono]. I cant believe this bitch [Heather Stevens] had the nerve to take her infected ass across the hall of the hospital to go interrogate Victor about the man who probably gave her Mono, I mean Epstein Barr, in the first place. This bitch thinks she's ride or die.

I hope Eden shuts her trap now that she's able to see her daddy.

Psycho Bitch Strikes Again

Jacko and his uber-son Adam-Victor-Adam are in Mexico drinking Mojitos and disturbing the handy murder work of Victor Newman Sr.

Victor's depression over Sabrina is a tad bit disturbing.
"I'm empty, I'm empty....Just turn around and go..."
*pass me a tissue bitch*
He looks like hes been wearing the same clothes since he came back from Copacabana. Poor guy. I hope gets thru to him slips Victor his medication in a glass of water and tag team Jack and Adam-Victor-Adam


Sharon vs. Phyllis. Love it, love it, love it. Phyllis continues to rub Sharon's face in shit and I'm actually enjoying it. I wish they would just duke it out in the parking lot of Crimson Lights like Lauren and Sheila used to do back in the day:
[ffwd to the 2:14 mark for the action]



That's what Eden needs, a good bodyslam against a Crimson Lights patio table.

OMG the little Mexican girl is a snitch.

A River Runs Through It.

Is it just me? Or is Colleen's head annoyingly big.

This must be the week of polkaroo half-siblings. Someone slap Michael Baldwin's half-sister Eden in the mouth. Her snarl is not becoming of a lady. Maybe once she gets over her deeply-rooted anger she could babysit Fenmore in exchange for room and board. She just better carefully explain why she's so upset, banging on the door like she was 5.0 or something.

Is it just me or is Michael Baldwin's father fugitive dilemma BOR-ING?
GenoaCity HoodRat might talk about it, but I'll fast forward these parts on the TiVo.

Did anyone notice Katherine's early signs of Alzheimers today?
Amazing.

Jesus Christ How Old Is Billy?

So, Billy [aka Liam] is back. "A Little Older, A Little Wiser.....A Little More Conceited." Shoot me now.
He IS older than Noah right? Jill and Sharon definitely weren't preggers around the same time.
*flashback*
I remember that scene at the Abbott mansion when Jill showed up in her red and white polka-dot swimsuit and to show off her big belly and reminded the abbott folkshe was stuntin' with John (who was obviously a test patient for viagara) Abbott's child.


Poor Amber, she always stays losing. Just because Billy bought four sketches of your ass [literally], don't mean he want you. He's just keeping you out of Colleen's hair, uncle's honor. Billy getting all up in Lily and Cane's business is sooooo suspect. Yesssss Colleen, give Billy more ammunition to come back to Genoa City.

How AMAZING is it that Chloe' [aka Katherine Tina Valentine] was SO close to getting found out.
Nurse:"You can find out the conception right up to the minute..." booyah bitch, now you will never get Cane.
Nurses can take payola in Genoa City Now??? That's pretty gangster.

We REALLY should have done this a long time ago

My bestest friend - lets just call her....sheila [lol] - and I have always been fascinated with the scandalous and sometimes miraculous things that happen in Genoa City. Sometimes our conversations would be almost as long as TWO hours discussing how Victor Newman was really a German spy from an Italian mob because we could never understand exactly where he got that accent from. Or how flighty and absent minded Sharon could be when she did things for the 'sake of Noah'. I cant forget the time we were flabbergasted when we found out that Jill was really Katherine's daughter.

These were all pretty recent events, but I think its safe to say that between the two of us, we have been watching The Young & The Restless of over TWENTY years now. That's a long ass time. We have gotten to know and have grown to love some of these characters, we have even grown to hate them, like really really hate them.

Dont look for episode recaps here. Oh no no no, we're gonna tell you what happened on Y&R like we live in Ninth Ward Projects of Genoa City. We straight hatin'.

Enjoy and don't forget to leave comments =]

~zee young and the worthless team