what part of DONT TALK does heather not understand?

is it just me or is this chick still suffering from Epstien Bar [aka mono].
Everyone knows shes scared as all hell of Victor, so why push the mans buttons? After all, he DID burn down his chateau de love for Sabrina.

This Were in the World is Victor Newman side show is getting a bit tedious.
*gag*

EUREKA!
Call me slow - whatever - but that would explain why the DNA of Chloe's baby matched Caine's DNA...because its really Billy's rug raaaaaaat and the Abbott bloodline is STRONG like a stiff drink. Got it!

moving on....

"keep your friends close and your enemies closer..."
Maybe Cain isn't as foolish or naive as I thought....

The More the Merrier

Michael successfully prolonged his father's appearances on Y&R by getting him to surrender to police after he spend days hiding out in some warehouse.

I have no clue what Nikki is doing. I just know she spent the whole blasted episode crying and reminiscing at everything she touched. Victor's clothes, his desk, his papers, his toothbrush, etc. She bawl de whole show. Steups. She put some stuff in a suitcase and then JT collected and apparently he knows how to follow "the plan".

Lily and this foolish online dating nonsense. She hasn't even fallen out of love with Cane and she's already a Fallout Girl. Geez. Does she want to be held that bad? On today's online adventure, she had numerous McDuckies, hit her up, however Sonny Crawford peaked her interest. Sonny Crawford happens to be a character (I think) of her favorite book or movie or something. Pretty slick, or is it? Hmmmmmm Sonny Crawford is the aka of the man with the most aliases in GC.....Liam aka Billy Abbott. He was droppin some lines on Lily that she had no choice but to join in with some slick comebacks.

Billy finds out Colleen is at Crimson Lights with Lily and bails on his family and heads right over. Well of course Ms Chloe doesn't like the sounds of Billy having to rush off somewhere, especially when he could be meeting a woman...maybe Amber? So fass Chloe, uses the baby and her cravings to have Cane take her to the small town Starbucks for some pastry. They walk in and see Lily and Billy sitting alone. What is going on here? Steups, not a damn ting. Boggle Head ain't even taking on Billy. Chloe does get a little applause from me though. She turned the situation back to her when they had a baby kicking moment that included everyone except Lily. But as I looked deep, Billy seemed to savour the moment a little deeper than Cane? Hmmmmm. Sense kick him and he pulled his hand back.

Highlight of the Show: The Great Debate

Amber had a pity moment because she feels her life is so messed up. Phyllis evicted her and Billy wasn't home to comfort her. Jenna recommends she calls the only individuals who can set her mind at ease, the love Doctors, Striker and Dr. Drew. Amber aka Marina goes on a rant about Herb's (aka Daniel) mom (aka Phyllis aka Red). Phyllis turns the radio on and hears Amber and she calls into the show. Then Daniel walks in and hears his mom on the radio and tries to grab the phone from Phyllis but she wins and Daniel out-wits her and picks up the other line. There is a huge conference call going on..live on air. Hilarious. By this time, Colleen and Billy are listening to the show. Striker and Dr. Drew ask Daniel "Why haven't you moved on?" Daniel yells "MAYBE I STILL LOVE HER!!" Kakafawt!! lol. Fire!! Good for Bighead Colleen.

Here Comes The Rain Again

Y'all always know what happens in a storm right?
It never fails in Genoa City.
Lemme break it down:

Kevin + Jana + Amber + Daniel = stuck in Crimson Lights
Lily + Cain = stuck in an elevator playing tic tac toe
Billy + Chloe = the rain must have triggered Billy's paternal senses because he ran to Chloe
Jack + Sharon = stuck facing each other's marriage demons
Phyllis + Nick = stuck solving all their problems with the poontang


Hol' up Hol' up Hol' up...Did Lily just degrade her friend by saying all she does is "pour coffee?" Wow.

*team phyllis*
*shaking my pom poms*
SHARON GROW THE FU*K UP AND MIND YOUR HUSBAND.
Sometimes she acts like she's fifteen again, when Nick had raging hormones...remember? heh heh heh.

Chloe is absolutely mad ass.
Im going to put on my therapist's cap and say it's Katherine's fault for sending the now-deranged Chloe away to school. She wanted so badly to actually be apart of the Chancellor family that her only goal in life was to "bag a Chancellor" as per my new best friend Billy. She couldn't stand the thought of being the daughter of a maid so she fucks up lives while trying to manipulate her own.
Wait till Cain finds out that baby aint his, he's going to shake the shit out of Chloe.
Because: The Lie Amber lives with could potentially destroy lives....
Oooh Jana, your voodoo intrigues me.

Everyone is Feeling the Pressure

This episode was whatever. However, I'm gonna start the blog by saying, did anyone, I mean anyone, think the dark, glowing, beautiful, black strippers, I mean (oops) cops that made an amazing cameo on the show was the casting ever!! I mean, HELLO!! De two of dem was nice!! Need more of dat!!

Jana and Kev are so cute. I think so, at least. Jana has come far but I still wouldn't mess with the little Voodoo Lady. Why does Kevin continue to let his drama-endulged mother get him into foolishness. This crazy cat-lady is making him lie to his woman, the Voodoo Lady.

(Lol Lol), I gotta laugh however, because Gloria was really creative in planting insanity with Katherine. As immature as it was, moving the car was funny. Gloria is on a serious mission for those proxys. But again, Gloria will get caught because Jenna (de witch doctor) has the look in her eye. I figure Jenna will be pulling out the Ouiji board and ask some question, like "is my husband Kevin a jackass and teaming up with his stupid mother to fail at yet another prank?"

Yes, Jill, Colleen is not fit to be a fresh face. Jill said to her mommy, that it was a terrible decision and who cares if she's an Abbott. WE agree Jill, we agree! Her ass ain't an Abbott. She's a Carlton with a slight bit of de man Tracy married. I completely forget his name. Tom? Richard? Crap...I give up.

Negative journalism vs Letter from the Editor. Nick, holy crow, get a little back bone. Is he this boring in bed? Geez! If you wanna start a gumdrops and cotton candy mag, Good Luck, no one will buy. You gotta add a little edge. Look at us, Sheila and I. We love you guys. You guys are part of our family. But no one would read us if all we kept saying was "I love Nick. He's so HOT!" So we have to add edge. We aren't bashing you guys, we're just writing what we're all thinking as we watch you. Phyllis's line "Sharon the Professional Victim". Fire!

Sharon is so plotting to break up Nick and Phyllis just because he was the best thing she ever had. Remember, Phyllis is a Professional Home Wrecker/Former
Concert Groupie. If she was giving me news about my man, you best believe I would be listening and truss me, Phyllis don't want Jack. She was trying to give Sharon the one-up, to be ahead of her scheming hubby.

Looks like Billy is has figured out that his step-grandmother is Jack's silent partner. Of course, he did. Gloria actually not getting exposed, that wouldn't be a regular day in Genoa City.

Genoa City: Everyone's Got a Reference

Oh my lord. Please, please stop this Cassie, car accident, dead bit. Noah will be fine. Geez. I get that parents get worried and due to the circumstances with Cassie, I get it. But let the boy live. Granted he did get caught but as Sharon said, you can't tie him down. Let's speak a little about Noah. He don't really get a lot of time in our blog which could change. It looks like the writers are givng him some screen time. How interesting that he goes to a party and happens to see Michael Balwin's little sister. And she happens to take his phone and chat some foolishness to Nick. Ahhhh, child love. Pulling of the hair, kicking, taking phones. Those were the days. Do you think its only a matter of time before we see Noah taking his snake into the Garden of Eden?

Ummmm...side thought, didn't Mackenzie debut on Y&R in a similar way to Eden? Same pain in de ass, troublesome, dirty, homeless kid. Eden=Mackenzie? Noah, good boy from good fam....hmmmmm...Noah=Old Billy? hmmmmmmm. My senses smell a relationship brewing.

On to Billy. We had the pleasure of being invited to a nice little get together at Cane and Chloe's place. It included Amber, who is Cane's ex-wife, Billy who is Amber's distraction from Daniel and Cane's half brother and Chloe, who is Cane's burden with a baby and could be Billy's babymama. Good Times. However, we've been on Billy's back since he returned. I think we have just cause for our actions. I mean the man left to build houses in some country with Mackenzie's dad which I would label as Ghandi or Mother Theresa work, and then he comes back and he's (literally) a different person. But, lets put the shoe on the other foot, do you think you'd become bitter if you found out the love of your life was your cousin? First cousin? Dem was in love yuh know.

Phyllis has a great imagination. A little unrealistic re: Sharon's actions but creative. That's my girl though. She's in a situation because really all signs are showing that Sharon has some serious feelings for her husband, Nick. Although, I believe in Phyllis and Nick and remember he called her to check in. He also said "I love you" before hanging up the phone. Nothing is wrong with, its the bitch, Sharon. Poor Phyllis. You think I would want my man, after we just finish "bonding" to get a phone call from his child's mother because the child is 3 mins late from curfew? Are you serious? If Jack was there, Sharon would not had called. Three minutes? Come on. So my red-head bombshell, had to do the only thing that's right. Take out your frustrations on paper. Really, that aside, we know the mag needs a little uplift. Nick wants to play it safe and Rated G. Nah! When have good guys finished first? I'm not too worried about Phylis, she's handle the wrath of her husband, just fine. Question is, how will she handle the news that Noah and Jack caught Sharon and Nick in an intense embrace?

Eden....steups. We've been avoiding this whole story for some time. Its just complete foolishness. How many more days more days will we be subject to Eden telling Michael that she wants her daddy. Or that she don't want Michael to help her. She wants to go back to the Ashram and sip squirrel urine from the bark of a willow tree. Steups.

Do you think Chloe is jealous of Amber with Billy?
How much longer do you think we have wait before it comes out that Chloe planned this whole thing. Kinda crazy that Billy didn't know Chloe aka Kate is Esther's daughter.

Lily online dating with the user name - fallout girl? I can feel a stupid situation about to arise and its going to be joined with her bobble head.

Do you think Cane deep down is trying to expose Billy because he can sense he's up to something, or his something went up his wife?

Chloe: Can you count them on your fingers?

So Colleen "Big Head" Carlton chose Fresh Face over Friendship. Bitch.
This will definitely cause Lily's head to shake uncontrollably.

*announcement*
Calling all housewives of Genoa City: Who wants to be fooled into keeping busy with redecorating a 877 year old mansion while your husband plots and schemes with his uber son to take down his nemesis?
Only foolish wives like Sharon NEED apply.
&
You should have seen the look on Sharon's face when Noah asked to go to a party - poor thing had a Cassie flashback. How classic was Sharon calling Noah out all the tricks in the book that her skanking ass used to do to her poor mother when she was a teenager. Where is Sharon's mother anyway? Did she die in an episode that I missed? Did they send that quiet harmless woman to a home? Why does Nikki have to be the only grandmother up in this bitch?

I'm sorry, but is Billy flirting with Lily? Or is Billy just flirtatious?
I'm not sure if i like this....

Whoa Nelly! This Chloe / Colleen showdown is out of hand.
Chloe did tell Colleen somethings about herself though.
"Don't you think Cain hired you so he can get access to Lily?"
Duh! And of course 'high-horse' Colleen had to reassure Chloe that Cain did not hire her to stay close to Lily.

I REFUSE to talk about snarling Eden today. I did however make notes of her dance moves at the warehouse party.

Hark? What is this? Adam-Victor-Adam had a change of heart about taking down his father? *gasp*
He will not be helping jack forge that diary for the tell-all book after all.
Adam knows if he does this he'd be banished from the Newman empire FOREVER.
Or maybe he's gonna use that information against Jack when Adam decides to get back into Victor's good books.
&
How crazy is it that Chloe knows Billy!
Could he be the father of her bastard child?

Thursdays are usually good episodes so we'll see!

Strange Things Are Happening

I want to know what Aussie Oil Cane smothered himself with this morning because choosing to hire Colleen Carlton to be the BIG HEAD I mean FRESH FACE of Jabot was straight greasy.

WOW. When you marry a Newman, you also marry Nikki. This old hag just blamed Phyllis for convincing Nick to commit his crazy ass father Victor into the looney bin which resulted in Victor's miraculous Copperfield Act. This is exactly what Phyllis gets for suggesting Nikki help Restless Style 'Out Of The Ashes' pun intended.

But Nick is crushed. Poor thing wouldn't even look at some model poontang for a hot second. Just Ho-Humming around the office like Eeyore. Even wore a god damned purple shirt today too. Maybe some Photoshoot four-play and Phyllis poontang might help.

Speaking of family foolishness, Jill thinks she's calling the shots, all Cain wants to do is be an inexperienced CEO, and Billy is about to become a Mole for Jack. That's some fucked up family shit.

Listen to me. I cant stand Lily, but I feel kinda bad for the bitch. She just has to stop twitching that head of hers when she rants her ass off. I cant stand it - shudder. I'm glad she's had an Oprah moment and come to the realization that she has to stop being a god damned doormat and just do her. There are plenty of hood rats in the world who are involved with men who have children with other women - even if the child might not be theirs. Suck it up Lily! Maybe this epiphany will cause her to stop ranting and twitching and ranting and twitching.

Maybe not, she just told Colleen its, "Fresh Face or our friendship"! And then walked off with her head shaking....ugh.

Can someone please tap Devon on his shoulder and yell in his good ear that HIS ASS CANT SING? Now he's trying to get his girlfriend Ashley Banks into the mix writing songs for them to sing together like they're the Chante Savage and Kenny Lattimore of Genoa City.